Oh Stranger, why do you care about Tiger Wood's Penis?

Why do you care so much where Tiger Woods puts his penis? When the cashier nods at the tabloid you're buying, with the Tiger's face on the cover, and asks you what do you think of all that, why do you furrow your brow, and say "I used to like him, but now I don't know anymore." You mean to tell me, Stranger, that the sudden realization that like Tiger Woods likes to screw around, and isn't satisfied being married to a model, that your ability to enjoy golf is lost forever?

Sounds like bullshit, stranger. I admit, I know fuck all about golf, and frankly don't care to learn, but I since when did impeccable morality become a necessity to G.D. golf?

Oh, you say he's a role model? Your little one really looks up to Tiger Woods, and now you don't know what to tell them about all this mess? Well, you don't really need to say shit to your kids about all that. If they ask, you just tell them to worry about the fucking game, if they love golf so G.D. much. But if they must find out the ugly choice about Tiger's taste in pussy, all you have to tell them is everybody's human and everybody makes silly mistakes, and that sometimes people go a little nuts while basking in the perks of being famous. You can establish early on with your youngster that it's important to have idols and role models, but it's also important to not be a total freakazoid and give a serious damn about the status of your role models family.

Really, stranger, what you're saying is that you're a little disatisfied with your own life. The shit that's going on with you isn't NEAR as exciting as the hap's + goings on in Tiger Woods or Lindsey Lohan's or Jon+Kate's charmed existence, and while you may not really want that sort of fame for yourself, obsessing and ragging on complete these people makes you feel like less of a dope all the time. It distracts you from that deep seeded nostalgia you have for the time when you're life had comparable amounts of adrenaline + excitement, that nostalgia that most days makes you want to jump out the window, and makes you feel happier that you've managed to keep your shit together as long as you have.

It's no big stranger, I do the same thing sometimes. It just makes me sad that you're so unfulfilled dude. I hope some really good shit comes your way soon.